I'm so mad at you, you could live for everyone in June.

I was in the back seat of a car; a wife and husband in their forties were in front, the wife driving. Someone else was in the back, to my left.

For some reason, the husband was brandishing a revolver, pointing it at the wife to compel her to drive somewhere. Stranger, though, was that he held the gun up around the same height as his neck and angled it down towards her. I advised lowering it so that people outside wouldn't see what was going on, but he continued holding it up.

The wife, frustrated, said: "I'm so mad at you, you could live for everyone in June."

"Try August!" I said. Somehow I think she was wishing all the summer heat upon him.

Aliens kindly request split-screen TV

Aliens had just recently made first contact with Earth. An ambassador of theirs (who looks like a human guy to me) meets me in a little downtown, which (in hindsight) seemed oddly isolated from any nearby urban area, like a single curving street of modern two- or three-story brick storefronts surrounded by grass and hills and highway.

He walks me towards a store window, mentioning that now that we'd made contact, we would definitely have to change our TV broadcasts to be split screen (one above the other), with subtitles in both languages.

He simulated such a split screen broadcast on a TV in the store window, using whatever had been playing before (a balding Italian-looking sophisticate sitting in a red velvety room, talking towards someone off camera). The subtitles on top were English, and the ones on bottom certainly appeared to be Italian, not Alienese.

He then ushered me into his sensible sedan, and we drove back the way we came, then around to the right onto a downhill entrance ramp to the highway. (I also noticed a high bridge nearby crossing over the highway.)

However, traffic was backed up, so he cut off the road onto the grass and snuck down towards the highway. I keenly noticed that the ride wasn't bumpy whatsoever. Amazing suspension on this car. Alien technology, I suppose. We somehow drove up over a guard rail and onto the highway.

(Another example of how I rarely seem to experience tactile "bumping" sensations in dreams; though, as it turns out, I do sometimes feel textures, so tactile sense isn't completely missing.)

Crater village, Utica, and lucid superhopping

I can't remember how it started, but I had an explanatory monologue going about legal distinctions in the word "island", showing a bunch of places on the globe that were called "island", but were actually craters or other land depressions.

The view soared over a vast semi-wilderness in a dry western area (brush and scrub, not many trees, lots of open sandy dirt). The land was pock-marked with depressions with sandstone walls, apparently formed by ancient water erosion; each was big enough for maybe 3-6 houses, and each little pocket was vaguely connected to the rest to form a network/town.

I went down into one of these depressions, where there were three or four houses. The rightmost house had a fancy exterior, so I decided to take some pictures. With my camera, I took three or four pictures starting from the left house and panning over to the right one, to make a panoramic picture out of later.

I then walked over to the pretty house, around to its right side, and found a staircase leading up along the side of the house. I walked up and ended up in a covered balcony/veranda area. From there I walked inside the house, noticing that there weren't any particular doors or locks preventing me from doing so.

I wondered if maybe a police officer lived here, reasoning that his very presence would justify an unsecured house. I cautiously continued through the house, going downstairs, but never did run into anyone.

Around now, the house had transformed into the first floor of Aunt Mildred's house in Utica. I wandered back towards the kitchen. Around this point I started to feel an anomalous sensation, and had an inkling that I was more in control of the dream than usual.

This influenced my behavior now; I was wondering whether to go upstairs or downstairs. I glanced up the stairs from the kitchen on the right, and noticed Greg's cat Jori walking down; but despite this distraction, I made up my mind to go down the stairs on the left, because I wanted to test walking into a space I couldn't remember well (i.e. the basement).

Almost immediately after getting down the stairs and turning left, what would have been the basement became the empty lobby of a city building; I was facing the exit, located on the outer corner, all glass doors and windows.

I walked out onto the sidewalk, then straight toward a grassy area with a tallish deciduous tree in the corner near the street. When I had approached the tree, I decided to try seeing how high I could hop (to test whether I was able to control the dream). First hop, I didn't quite reach the lowest branches. Next hop I did, and then I hopped a few more times, at least once hopping higher than the whole tree. Strangely, even on the high hops, I seemed to fall quite a bit faster than gravity should allow (maybe close to landing on the same time scale as a normal human hop), and when I landed on the ground, I felt no impact.

(I started to have the repeating phrase "Ich kann huggenen buschen [something something]" running through my head.)

As I walked to the right, toward a large bush, I started to pay attention to my breathing (which presumably was my actual, non-dream breathing). I started to think I don't really need to be breathing hard, or at all, if this is a dream (and other elements of reality, such as impact force, were missing anyhow).

I also tried to quiet my inner monologue, which was, as usual, quite saturated. But as soon as I did, I started to wake up.

So, this was the longest I've ever dreamed lucidly, and the most stable I've felt in light of realizing I was dreaming. However, it was interesting that there were things missing relative to reality: no people, no tactile sensations, not much going on auditorily, except my inner monologue. Upon successfully warping reality (by jumping really high), gravity did not act normally; not sure what the basis was for that -- lack of experience? video games? Drawing attention to, or altering, my breathing and inner monologue seemed to have triggered the exit. Will have to be more careful next time.

Paramilitary abduction and stuff

In a suburban area, on the grass near a sidewalk, I had been tied up and left by a group of two or three women (don't remember why). A small band of paramilitary-looking folks walked up and escorted me to a house across the street.

The house was laid out so that the first floor foyer stepped out to an atrium of sorts, where the first floor had balconies that walked around and overlooked a room on the floor below. In the lower room, a group of six or seven women and men were sitting on couches, being interrogated by a few more military folks.

It looked like they had brought me there to help put the people being interrogated at ease. I'm not sure what about me, in particular, would do that. I was a black man, so that was apparently enough to make the one black woman down on the right relax and smile when our gaze met.

And then there was the blonde white woman, directly below me. She was lying on her back with her feet up, somehow reaching the edge of the balcony in front of me. We started playing footsie. Or toesie, really.

I then turned my attention to an inspector who was standing to my left (and noticed, at this point, that while my right hand was tied to my right side, my left arm was completely free). The inspector was reading his notes on a pad of paper. I glanced over his notes and saw that they were in Quikscript. When I asked him about it, though, he pointed out that it was all Chinese characters. But then he turned the page and everything on that page was in Quikscript.

He wrote a few things for my benefit to demonstrate how to write. One of the words he wrote was "stairway" or something like that, which somehow ended up being written almost in a circular fashion (I don't know if he was being fancy or if his version of Quikscript required it). At some point, the inspector was actually Brian C from high school.

Andrew K came by pushing a cart of books (apparently this first floor was sort of a library). He looked very cheerful and said hi, and we talked a little. All I can remember from our group conversation is something about how the incoming generation (of students?) was really gung-ho about the crazy stuff that we did (as a club, I guess), which we would have expected to be offputting to the uninitiated. In reference to this, the flat screen TV on the wall behind us was playing a South Park clip that had people talking about.. showers. ?

Bedroom storm and big money

I found that there had been a storm in my bedroom (which may have been in an attic). Paper money was torn up and strewn around -- I noticed that a 2-dollar bill had been ripped in half, but only found one half of it behind my headboard. Then, next to it, I noticed half of a 1,000-dollar bill which I had forgotten I even had.

I found the other half, checked out the design -- Washington was in the upper left corner, someone else in the bottom right... anyway, the faces (and their associated dollar values) multiplied to 1,000. The portrait in the middle had a deep blue lustrous background.

I wondered if I could still spend the 1,000-dollar bill, if I taped it back together. Then I thought it would probably be better to deposit it at an ATM. I noticed, in the upper right, a very long series of numbers (probably at least 100 digits) that I suppose uniquely identified the bill.

I took some sort of action to deposit the money, and the ATM (or my computer, whatever I was using) replied that I would need to create 23 (or so) new "partitions" in my account to handle the new influx of money.

Weird pole vaulting on TV

I came downstairs to a room resembling the back room at my Grandma M's house. Three or four people, including maybe Greg and Dad, were sitting around, watching a weird athletic competition on TV.

Two guys were competing on a pole vault-like event. There were multiple rounds, and right now the scores were pretty close. The guy getting ready to go (muscular with light brown skin) had a slight edge, and if he pulled off this jump, he would almost certainly win.

The pole itself was weird looking. It was chrome instead of white, and a foot or two from the ends of it, U-shaped bars jutted out, two or three feet long, extending toward the ground when held horizontally.

As he approached the jump, he made some kind of misstep, and ended up having to jump below the bar (the one you're supposed to jump over in pole vaulting). However, the rules of this event were such that, if you jumped under the beam (presumably without knocking it down), you could run down the track after that, and earn points based on speed.

But making the jump always gives more points than taking off running. So it looked like we still weren't sure who was going to win.

Jeremy screws with my laptop

Jeremy C and I were sitting around in something resembling the parlor of my aunt Mildred's house. I had left my laptop unattended there, and I hadn't set a password lock on it. Jeremy decided (out loud) that he was going to be sneaky and create a password for it.

He started messing around with it, and shortly I grabbed it back from him. Even though he only had it for a few seconds, it looked like he had done something to the OS. When I looked in the bottom left corner, it had a little official text logo saying "Windows 2.3" (though the interface was still visually similar to Windows 95-Windows 7).

Spinning chamber, and "Freedom From Glory"

I (female) was lying on the ground, face up, in the central part of a weird dark spinning chamber, maybe 20-30 feet in diameter. I could vaguely make out a few reflections of myself on the outer edge of the room, as well as a few reflections coming off triangular mirrored columns closer to me. Due to the movement, the reflections were mostly indistinct.

Although I was lying down, I was moving my feet as though walking (or skipping/running). As I spun around, I kept catching sight of one clear reflection of me. This reflection was walking / skipping / running the perimeter of the room at the same rate I was spinning, and she was always facing to my right, so I saw the right side profile and never much of the face. She duplicated the motion of my legs, even though I was lying down and not really walking. When I moved my arms, she did the same.

For some reason it bothered me each time I saw my reflection looking away from me. (That might bother me a little in reality too. I'll leave it up to you to imagine a situation where that happens.)

I noticed this song going on just as I was about to wake up:


"Till you earn your freedom from glory, glory...."

And the "glory, glory" line repeated for a while before I realized there was even a song going on. My brain pieced together the beginning of the line (or made it up (which might be the same thing)) as I was waking up. I recorded this demo of it later in the day, because I'm tired of writing down dream music in text notation that people are unlikely to really appreciate :)

Interesting toothpaste.

I was using some kind of product that enhanced my feminine traits. ... Physical traits. Particularly in the bosom area. I was hanging out/jogging with Cassi K at a running track next to a grassy hill, remarking on how we'd both used said product, and comparing results.

Then I was trying to remember where I had put the stuff. Then I remembered it was on my nightstand. It was a nondescript tube of Crest toothpaste, with the big red stripe going down the length of it. But, in big white lettering in the top right corner, it said "For Women".

Chilling fox and waving bear

I had just woken up (not actually, but in the dream), and was lying in bed. My bed was in the basement, but it was near a small ground-level window, out of which I could look at the back yard. I saw mom and dad in the back yard, along with the dogs. But I also saw a red fox there. Surprisingly, it wasn't doing much of anything. It wasn't scared of the people and dogs there, it wasn't trying to attack anything or run away. It just kind of stood around.

I grabbed my point-and-shoot camera, which was in my bed with me already, zoomed in on the fox, and took a couple pictures and a short video, expecting the fox to run away at any moment. But the fox never did go anywhere. It was just chilling.

-

Next dream: in the back yard of our current house, near the far back gate of our tall wood picket fence. My dad was sitting in a lawn chair, facing away from the fence, and next to him was a news anchor — Brian Williams, I think — interviewing him.

I walked up towards them, and suddenly I caught sight of a large brown bear in the woods behind the fence. I waved to it, and it got up on its hind legs and waved back, with a vacant expression on its face, then started ambling towards us. I told Dad and Brian Williams to get moving, and we fled towards the front of the house. Every once in a while, the bear would get back up on its hind legs and wave again, then continue ambling over towards us.

We got out to the front yard, and headed inside the house (which now more resembled our Cantilever house in Lake Ridge).

Eh? A beard? AND a mustache??

I was outside in a small treed park near a house. A few friends and I were hanging out, idly bouncing and floating with fairy wings. A real, fairy-sized fairy with blond hair, with whom we seemed to be acquainted, came by and was wondering out loud how we were staying aloft — apparently she was only capable of flying in short bursts, more like assisted jumping rather than hovering.

She set out to discover if it really was as easy as we made it look. She bounced one or two feet in the air and fluttered her wings with all the power she could muster, and doing so she managed to hover in one place for a few seconds before dropping down again. If we had known in advance the adverse effect this would have on her, we would have warned her in advance...

She came to a rest lying sideways on a large green leaf, and we were astonished to see that she had aged greatly, but in a very strange way. Besides being exhausted, she looked fairly normal, her hair was still blond — and yet, she now had a pointy grey beard and a mustache. She herself was also incredulous. "Eh? A beard? AND a mustache??"

An unexpected pregnancy and a mark of doom

I was hanging out with Andrew M, and he was recounting to me how he had just found out he had gotten pregnant (... somehow) from a woman he made love to in his living room. Which was all well and good, but then it turns out he also got in the way between two old women who were trying to shoot each other with pistols (which didn't exactly shoot bullets, but gave the target only a short time -- perhaps days -- to live). They were running around the back yard of a suburban single family home, sniping from behind corners and such. Anyway, Andrew got hit by one of them.

So I was hanging out with him at a restaurant, and we were talking about that stuff. We were hovering around near some tables in a covered outdoor seating area. A group of girls was getting up to leave and we went to sit at that table, but then one of them looked like she was trying to figure something out. She looked down at a piece of paper (folded together into half of a polyhedron shape), and one facet of the shape had "Reserved" written on it. In fact, one such paper polyhedron was sitting on each table, with things written on each side. Unfortunately for us, it turned out that since the paper was sitting such that the "Reserved" side was perpendicular to the table, it meant that someone else had reserved the table.

But then, I think we already had the table next to it, and it wasn't reserved. Weren't we just sitting there? Oh well, now I'm confused.

The foot and the doll

I was in a house (perhaps we had just recently moved in — there was more to this dream before this point that I can't remember), in my first-story bedroom. I noticed something really bizarre below the window — just along the edge of the wall, sticking out of the floor, was what appeared to be a human male foot, bottom-side up. I was both vaguely disturbed and fascinated.

I decided to pull up the rug and see what the foot was attached to. Instead of it being a human (body), it turned out that there was a weird female doll lying there in the floor, about 3 feet tall, made out of beige-painted metal, with joints and hinges very obvious, wearing perhaps a Victorian-era off-white dress. I brought it to the kitchen where my mom and dad were. My mom recognized the doll, but didn't really want to be associated with it. Apparently she had stashed it away there in the bedroom.

Dandelissimo

A friend and I were about to drive to New York City for vacation. As we're making our way onto the highway (my friend was driving), I check on my smartphone to see what different kinds of radio stations there were in NYC -- particularly, I was comparing the availability of stations with opposing political views. On the highway (raised 20-30 feet above ground level), the scenery to both sides of us is very colorful. My best guess is that there were lots of dark pink azaleas growing along the side of the highway (I suppose they would have been intentionally planted, since this was a raised road). We were passing through or alongside a city, too, with small skyscrapers near us on our right.

We are passed by a pickup truck that has a MASSIVE dandelion (gone to seed) standing upright in the back bed. It must have been fixed in place somehow. It was a good 8-10 feet tall. My friend was wondering out loud whether it was a real dandelion. I commented that, since it was going to be losing those seeds soon, we could come back to this stretch of the highway in a year or so and see if it's overrun with these dandelions.

Eventually we arrived at our hotel in NYC.

Peculiar air show in the city

Sitting at the right side window seat (mid-back) of a bus, which is stopped somewhere in the middle of a big city. The other passengers and I are surprised to see what looks like an air show a mile or two away: aircraft (and even what looked like spacecraft — one reminded me of a bigger version of SpaceShipOne) were soaring up and out from behind tall buildings, then quickly arching back down to disappear behind them again.

The sheer volume of different aircraft, the uniqueness of their designs, and their size (they seemed much too big, like, almost as big as the buildings they were flying behind)... Something seemed strange about it, though I couldn't put my finger on it at first. Finally, our bus pulled up to a convention center, and there were a few people standing outside who had organized this event. They explained to us that all the aircraft we had seen were actually inflatable! To me, that was actually really impressive.

Forest-office-Charlie-Maura-drum squares

I was working at a desk, except the office visible in front of me seemed to be more of a forest than an office (not that it seemed odd at the time). To my right, sitting on my desk, was a small, vertical mirror on a stand, and every 10-20 seconds or so I would take a moist cloth and wipe it down. Lee W came by my desk and got me to admit that it was a little obsessive to wipe the mirror so often.

I explained to Lee that something was bothering me about the coworker to my right (who was apparently Charlie Sheen), though I couldn't quite put my finger on it, so I kept glancing over at him, and then wiping the mirror to make it look like that was why I was looking to the right.

Meanwhile, another male coworker came by and Lee held out a very tall styrofoam cup and said to the coworker, "Could you get me a mug?" At first the coworker wasn't sure if Lee wanted him to go bring him a mug, but then he figured out Lee wanted to get his styrofoam cup refilled with coffee (from what looked more like a soda fountain than a coffee brewer).

To my left was another coworker, who happened to be Maura. The details evade me at this point, but somehow there was a drum beat playing (with brushes), sort of a swing rhythm, and, of all things, the snare beat had a brush coming down on top of each of our heads. We weren't particularly bothered, as it was apparently part of usual work.

By the way, in visualizing this dream, the office seemed more like a vertically stacked 9x9 square (reminiscent of Hollywood Squares, but in an office/forest setting), with me at the bottom center, Charlie to the right, Maura to the left, the other coworker possibly in the square above me. And for the most part people were facing out of the square towards the viewer.

Strange drum set

I was attending some concert (can't recall whether or not I played in the first act). When the second act came on, I noticed that there wasn't much to it, a very minimal setup, and, notably, no percussion. I offered to play drums and walked out into the hallways (sort of like a school building's hallways) and found my drum set in the hall. I sat down to look at it and tinker a bit. First, I noticed that there were no crash or ride cymbals, and the hi-hats' cymbals had been replaced by thick, gray cafeteria trays, which, while they made a metallic sound when I hit them, were much too quiet. I then noticed that my normal hi-hats were also present, on a second stand behind that.

Odds-and-ends shop, "queer" sized clothes and weird instruments

Stopped into a store that carried all kinds of odds and ends.. There were clothes, crafted jewelry, lip balms, etc. After a while in the store I realized there was also a section with musical instruments. Most of the items were second hand, especially the musical instrument section. There were signs near the door stating that they carried "queer" sizes for some of their clothing, with certain larger dimensions. The only clothes I noticed with that designation were some shoddy looking sweaters.

I wandered the store for a while, ducked out, realized I had nothing better to do (plus I think my curiosity was piqued by the sign about "queer" sizes), and came back in. The guy and girl at the front desk (free spirit artsy types, probably in their twenties or thirties) cheered when they saw me again, as if I had been their best customer of all time, despite that I had never bought anything. I guess they were glad to see a familiar face from 30 seconds ago.

After some more poking, I finally caught sight of the musical instruments. Most of them were guitarish, with a few bowed instruments interspersed. There were one or two other people poking around the area too. The first "guitar" I picked up was more like a bass guitar (left-handed), dull brown colored, but the strings were really odd. The largest string looked like it was made of bamboo, around a centimeter thick at its widest point, and tapering to perhaps half of that towards one end. Plucking it produced no real respectable sound. The next string was much thinner, more like a typical bass guitar string's width, and I couldn't tell what material it was. It sounded a bit higher, but without much of a sustained note. There were three more strings, all a little thinner than the second, but identical to each other in thickness and pitch. And all equally dull. As I put that instrument back down on the chair where I had picked it up (balanced precariously against the curved, arched back of the wooden chair), I noticed a sign that said to be "conservative" in touching the instruments.

So I looked at, but didn't touch, a bunch of other guitarish instruments. Finally, one of the women who worked there came out of nowhere and handed me a Les Paul, hoping I would play a little. It was totally out of tune, so I tuned it up by ear (twice, because the changes in string tension on the first run knocked the lower strings back out of tune; people commented on this as they looked on). I was particularly taciturn this whole time, mumbling something or other when I had the guitar tuned. A mild crowd was starting to gather.

Just as I was waking up, I had decided I would play Tombstones, by Dave Klinger.

Out of body showering + lucidity

Short lucid dream. After an encounter with a mouse behind a book on the bookshelf, then a short board meeting where one of the ladies leading it up kept running into people as she was trying to usher people out (thought she'd be stuck in three meetings in a row)... I walked to the next room where the shower was going hot and full blast, and wondered who was supposed to be in it. I managed to imagine my own person standing behind the curtain (obscured but still visible -- think fragmented light), and thought that was interesting. Next I walked over to my dresser (in the bookshelf/conference room) and looked for a minute, by this time realizing that I was in control of my dream. I reached my hand up to my face and touched it -- however, I did not feel any touch or pressure. Regardless, I started feeling around some more, but finally lost my concentration and drifted awake.

Beth's holey driveway; our new weird pool table

Extremely foggy rollercoaster/suspension bridge. We go off the track before a big rise. Pity. I come up to a driveway as Beth F is swerving a large van into it. It tips and falls sideways (driverside up) into a van-sized hole at the base of the driveway. I'm acting somewhat romantic as I offer a hand to help her out of the van. This van may be the same van that appeared earlier in the dream, after I was being sought following my great help in an investigation.

-

Me and dad at home. I am setting up a new pool table in front of the back doors in the family room. I notice that on one of the sides the corner pocket is offset about 4 or 5 inches to the right and the side pocket is too. I remove a few top layers and see that the holes have different possible preset positions. Interesting.